Not too long ago I visited Carter Blood Care so I could save a life and make a few bucks, but then I remembered that you only get compensated for plasma. When the medical assistant took my pulse, and saw that it was only 47 beats/minute, she told me that she would re-take it again in five minutes, but I could not donate unless it was above 50. By this time I was dead-set on giving blood because I had been feeling like a complete waste of oxygen at the time and wanted to feel a bit more heroic.
I just ended up feeling dizzy.
I had given blood once before and had no side effects whatsoever. No bruises, no dizziness, nothing. When the flobotomist finished taking my blood she proceeded to walk me to the snack station. We stood in the middle of the blood center as she explained to me how to go online and get my cholesterol results and blood type. I clearly remember telling her that I felt a little light headed right before she offered me a shirt. I don't remember refusing or accepting it...probably because I fell on my face before I got a chance to do either.
When I came to my senses, my glasses felt strangely out of place and not aligned with my nose at all. That's when I figured out that the floor was preventing their proper positioning. The blood ladies were super nice and brought me ice and water to help me recover. I didn't really want to. The feeling of unconsciousness is one of the most peaceful feelings I've ever had. I had never felt more rested. They gave me peanut butter cookies and juice and waited until I felt all better.
Much like Yossarian did with the chaplain from Catch-22, I fell in love with my blood lady. She was just so soft-spoken and nice that I had to go back and give another couple of pints. I made an appointment to give as soon as I become eligible again.
I checked the results of my mini-physical online and I'm in absolutely fantastic shape. Since the last time I gave blood, my cholesterol level has dropped 7 points to a healthy 149. My iron levels increased to 14.5 thanks to Jack-in-the-Box's Mini Sirloin Burgers. My blood pressure went down to 98/63, and I found out that I'm O-positive. That means I have Oprah particles on my blood cells.
In conclusion, give blood, but make sure you eat a hearty meal before you go give away your life juice.
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2 comments:
Oprah particles in your blood cells? I didn't know you fainted
That was a long long time ago. I think a lot of the details in this story have changed. My cholesterol went up and I no longer faint. The two are probably related to the fact that I've put on some weight.
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